We named our party play list daddy issues
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
