This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
