I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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