it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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