I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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