So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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