We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize