I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she smelled like a LAN party
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
