that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
