You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
