I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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