I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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