I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
