Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
