he wants to bone in the snuggie
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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