Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(706): View more from Georgia

I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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(519): View more from Ontario

He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.

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(702): View more from Nevada

dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos

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