I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome