I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.