Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Why are we friends again?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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(248): View more from Michigan

so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.

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(563): View more from Iowa

For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.

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(647): View more from Ontario

he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president

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(224): View more from Illinois

just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.

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