are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
