well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize