this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
