You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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