I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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