It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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