i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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