Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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