Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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