I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
