The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
