I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
