Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
