I'm lost and stupid without you.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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