i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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