I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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