so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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