UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
