i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
