My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
