Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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