It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
