I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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