there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
