we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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