IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
