My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
nutella sex= disaster
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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