READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
