He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
