So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm both gender and math confused
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
