Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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