She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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