yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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