I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
