Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
