we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
