It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we're so committed to being not committed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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