You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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