ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
