Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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