worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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