She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
