She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
