He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
