but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
