I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
