Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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