You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
