The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
